5 Things Cancer Gave Me
- Jo Yates
- Nov 30, 2022
- 9 min read
Updated: Apr 1
Let's not kid ourselves, getting a cancer diagnosis is shit and I'm not here to pretend it isn't. But I do believe I got some positive things from the experience and I wanted to share them in the hope it may help someone who needs some positive in their life today.
My cancer flavour was ovarian and Ovarian Cancer Australia have provided me with professional support post treatment. One of these professionals is working with me to keep an eye on mental health following treatment and in this week's session she asked what I had learnt about myself.
I think the standard response would be "I learnt how strong I am", but in all honesty I already knew I was pretty strong as I had to deal with some pretty tricky things in the 42 years before I got cancer.
We moved onto what positives I could take from the experience. This was harder as cancer took many things from me (most of my hair, my reproductive system, 9 months of my life and a chunk of my savings) but this conversation got me thinking about what positives have come out of this experience and I wanted to share them here.
This is my experience and not everyone will have the same outcomes and many people may not be able to see any positives ... and that is totally understandable. As I said - cancer is shit.
Appreciation for my partner. I started seeing Ze German (real name Nick but Ze German is more fun) in May 2021, 3 months later I found out I had tumours on my ovaries. He stood by me from the moment we found out and hasn't wavered since. When most new couples would still be in the honeymoon phase we were attending hospital appointments together, arguing over wearing compression stockings and debating what concoction was best to keep my bowels moving after my hysterectomy. I knew he was a fun guy to hang out with, but cancer showed me what a great person he truly is. He still drives me nuts leaving wet towels on the floor and asking me 10 times a day where he's left things (hello ADHA) but I know he's a strong man who will stand by me when I need him.
New Friends The cancer club is a crappy club to be in but it has some amazing people in it. During my treatment I have met some amazing women who are either battling or have battled cancer. They are strong, funny and empathic women who have made this experience a little easier. Some I have met in real life and some are online friends, but they have all given me something positive in this experience and are the people who truly understand what this is like. I also realised how amazing some of my 'pre-cancer' friends & family are. I appreciate them all so much for all the little and big things they have done to get me through this. Sending thoughtful gifts, my parents travelling halfway across the world to be with me, old colleagues texting to say they are thinking of me, everyone cheering me on from the sidelines, my good friend leaving the house in the middle of feeding her kids to come over when I was having a meltdown, new and old friends coming to celebrate with me at the end of chemo. This all means so much and I will forever be grateful for the love I received during this time.
No periods I love not having any periods. I don't know how, but I managed to get to 42 and still be surprised EVERY month and not be prepared. Even after having periods for 28 years, so over 360 of the buggers, I still managed to bleed through tampons, forget I had one & insert another, cover the bed in blood or have to resort to bundled up loo roll as I forgot to take tampons with me AGAIN. I do not miss them at all.
Love for the small things in life Facing your own mortality through a cancer diagnosis has the ability to alter the way you look at life. Although I was told from the first oncology appointment that my cancer was treatable and the outlook was good, I still had moments of Googling the worst and wondering if I would make it through. This has given me a real appreciation on the small things in life and I love things I may have taken for granted before. Sunsets, snorkeling off a Queensland Island, dinner with friends, spending time with my friend's kids or even just being able to go to the gym all mean something more to me now.
An excuse to do ALL the fun things now I'm not going to wait until I'm retired to travel, I'm not going to waste my life working full time in a job I don't love. Since finishing treatment I've set myself up working part time in a job that allows me to travel when I want and to dedicate time to things that bring me joy (like helping others through this site). Facing ovarian cancer has taught me tomorrow isn't promised so I'm making the most of now.
Feel free to add the things that cancer has given you in the comments.
If you find yourself needing to talk to someone after reading this article you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or The Cancer Council on 13 11 20
Shop To Help
FU Cancer Network is a passion project, but it comes with costs. Purchasing through the links below won’t cost you extra, but a small commission will help maintain the site and expand offerings. Not all products earn a commission, but if they do it helps me to keep this space alive for those who need it most.These are items I used myself, friends used or come highly recommended via other channels. I spent many hours researching what would help my skin, hair and mental health during treatment, you can benefit from that now and skip the research.
Some of these are thoughtful gifts to give to people you care about who are having treatment and some are to gift to yourself.
You'll probably notice there are some swearies in the titles of some books, because.... F cancer!
 |  |
What The F*ck Just Happened. A Survivor's Guide to Life After Breast CancerClick To Purchase | |
 |  |
Chemo P!ssed Me Off. A Breast Cancer Roadmap: Navigating with Faith, Gratitude, and a Little Bit of AttitudeClick To Purchase | F*** You Cancer: How to face the big C, live your life and still be yourselfClick To Purchase |
 |  |
The Cancer Ladies’ Running Club: The most emotional, uplifting and life-affirming novel of summer 2023 | |
 |  |
Clinique Even Better Clinical Radical Dark Spot Corrector. I messed up my skin (which you aren't going to do as you will ALWAYS wear sunscreen) and this cleared up the sunspots within a couple of weeks. I highly recommend for reducing blemishes & correcting skin tone and will continue to use it now I'm post chemo. | Eau Thermale Avène Cicalfate+ Restorative Protective Cream Avène Cicalfate+ Restorative Protective Cream helps repair damaged, dry, cracked, and non-oozing skin in 48 hours. Skin is immediately soothed after the first application, and the cutaneous barrier is restored. In fact, all the Avene Products are worth considering when you have delicate skin from chemo. |
 |  |
Cancer Council Daywear SPF 50+ Light Tint BB Cream As above you are going to wear sunscreen every single day from now on and this is a great option. I apply this after my moisturiser and know I'm heading out with 50+ protection on my delicate facial skin. If I'd been doing this from the start I wouldn't have needed the Clinique! Check out other cancer council products at the link below. | Hand Weights. Light weights for use when doing at home pilates If you are able to get to the gym maintaining muscle by using hand weights can be a simple way to workout at home.
|
 |  |
Yoga Mat with Alignment Lines. Anti-Slip. Beautiful yoga mat featuring alignment lines to assist you with the position of arms and legs. This helps with at home pilates or yoga by encouraging you to keep your body in balance with accurate posture for the best practice. | Activity Tracker As exercise can help you with your cancer treatment and recovery now might be a great time to invest in a fitness tracker if you haven't already. The Fitbit (or similar) is a great option which encourages mindfulness plus tracks exercise and sleep. |
 |  |
Menopause Supplements If you need help managing hot flushes due to medical menopause some of these supplements may help rebalance your hormones. As with any supplements do not take these without consulting with your oncology team. | |
 |  |
Satin Head Scarfs Play around with head scarves to see what styles and colours suit you. This style was great for me when I lost most of my hair. | UGG Slippers I was very lucky and only got a very small amount of neuropathy in my feet but I do feel the cold more now. During chemo I swapped my normal thongs around the house for Uggs to avoid the cold in my toes. It really does make a world of difference. |
 |  |
Aromatherapy Diffusers A thoughtful gift for a loved one facing cancer is always welcomed. Diffusers offer a safe, convenient, and flame-free way to create a calming atmosphere. Gentle, long-lasting fragrances provide comfort and relaxation, making them a perfect gift for promoting peace and well-being. Click To Purchase | Rose Quartz Gifts Rose quartz is not only a beautiful gift for a loved one fighting cancer but some believe Rose quartz promotes love, healing, and emotional balance while reducing stress and anxiety with its calming energy—perfect for self-care and inner peace. There are a number of styles at the link below Click To Purchase |
 |  |
The Ordinary Multi Peptide Serum for Hair Density This hair growth serum is is designed to support hair health so that it looks thicker, denser, fuller and healthier. Be aware that it contains caffeine to stimulate the follicles so keep this for when you have finished chemo as it can actually have the opposite effect you are going for if you use it whilst undergoing treatment. | Miracle Spray Hair Treatment I LOVE this product and was using it before chemo on recommendation from a friend. It is great to leave in after washing when you can't blow dry to help contain fluffiness from dried out chemo hair! |
 |  |
TOPPIK Hair Building Fibers Toppik Hair Building Fibers, are made of colored keratin protein and it blends with existing hair strands to instantly create the appearance of naturally thick, full hair. I used this when my bald spot was at it's worse and I didn't want to wear a wig. I was skeptical about this product but it is honestly amazing how it works. | Silk Pillow Cases Protect hair and skin during chemo with silk fabric pillowcases. During chemotherapy, silk pillowcases offer benefits like reduced friction, moisture retention, and a gentle surface for sensitive skin and hair, which can be particularly helpful during hair loss and regrowth.Perfect as a thoughtful gift for a loved one going through treatment Click To Purchase |
Support Resources
Cancer Council Australia
CCA an organisation to support all Australians affected by cancer through support, research and prevention programs.
Ovarian Cancer Australia
OCA is an independent national not-for-profit organisation, supporting women diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Our focus is to provide care and support for those affected by ovarian cancer; and represent them by leading change. Our vision is to save lives and ensure no woman with ovarian cancer walks alone.
Breast Cancer Network Australia
BCNA Breast Cancer Network Australia (BCNA) is Australia’s leading breast cancer consumer organisation. We have worked tirelessly to ensure that all Australians who are affected by breast cancer receive the very best care, treatment and support.
Bowel Cancer Australia
BCA Peer-to-Peer Support Network connects patient’s and loved ones on a one-to-one buddy basis that enables members to give and receive advice about their bowel cancer experience in an informal and mutually beneficial way.
Leukaemia Foundation
LF is a support service for patients and supporters dealing with blood cancers.
*FU Cancer is supported by its audience. If you choose to purchase through the links on our site we may receive an affiliate commission. This goes towards paying our expenses plus a percentage of our monthly profit goes towards directly helping people with cancer. If you know someone who could do with a boost during their cancer treatment please let us know here.
*FU Cancer is supported by its audience. If you choose to purchase through the links on our site we may receive an affiliate commission. This goes towards paying our expenses plus a percentage of our monthly profit goes towards directly helping people with cancer. If you know someone who could do with a boost during their cancer treatment please let us know here.
Comments