“How is Your Vagina?”
- Jo Yates
- Sep 9, 2022
- 9 min read
Updated: Apr 2
I want you to picture this scene - I've just started back exercising after nine months out of the gym due to my hysterectomy and chemo. I'm looking forward to getting back, but have been told to take it easy, so aqua aerobics is a great starting point for me to ease back in.
A chemo buddy (breast cancer) agreed to join me. We donned our cozzies and hit the pool with all the 'aqua nannas'.
We were excited to catch up, so much that we upset some of the regulars with our excited chatting. Half way through a vigorous set of aquatic side leg lifts, chemo buddy turns to be and asks "How is your vagina?". I thought I misheard so asked her to repeat herself, louder this time she says "How is your vagina? Mine is whack. It's so dry and sex is painful".
Remember the 'aqua nannas' we upset? Yep still there!
Their reactions amused me, but it also got me thinking about the sexual side of life and cancer treatments. The changes in your appearance and physical side effects can really put a dampener on your sexy time so I wanted to cover some of that here.
Let's talk about Sex
I'll get straight into it - Chemo isn't sexy.
It might leave you feeling slightly less hot under the collar than usual. Body changes, hormonal changes and side effects of chemo such as fatigue & nausea can all bring your love life to a grinding halt.
Hormonal changes can cause vaginal dryness which can make sex painful.
In addition to this about half of women are sexually active after surgical treatment for certain cancers (such as ovarian or cervical) with around 40-80% of women reporting pain during sex (dyspareunia) and vaginal dryness (60–80%). Unfortunately some women feel they are unable to bring this up or health professionals fail to address it, so women are often left trying to figure it out for themselves.
This is what my chemo buddy wanted to discuss during aqua. Talking to someone who is going through the same as you can make you feel less alone, so don't feel afraid to bring it up with a trusted friend who will understand (maybe just try to have less nannas around!).
Chemotherapy can wreak havoc on your body and your ovaries may be damaged. Ovarian cancer patients may have to have their ovaries removed, this will put them straight into medical menopause (that would be me). As a result, the amount of estrogen (also referred to as oestrogen) and progesterone produced by your ovaries could drop or cease altogether.
This drop in estrogen may only be temporary (unless your ovaries have been removed) but it can cause vaginal problems until your ovaries 'wake up' again. If the amount of estrogen in your body decreases, the amount of vaginal lubrication you produce also drops, this can lead to painful sex if not managed correctly. As I was put straight onto HRT (also known as hormone therapy (HT) or menopausal hormone therapy (MHT)) I haven’t experienced these particular side effects but it can be very common.
To avoid discomfort make sure you aren't rushing into penetration so you give your body the best chance of producing lubrication. This is a fabulous excuse to focus on foreplay - and lots of it.
Water based vaginal lubricants are going to be your new best friend!
If you haven't needed to use these before, talk to your partner to help them understand what is happening for you and how this will improve your love life.
Some lubricants to consider are
Latex safe with added vitamin E. Will not harm healthy bacteria or affect pH levels.
A great water based lube that is Glycerin and paraben free.
Everyone knows Durex and this lube is perfect to use with their condoms.
If you are still experiencing pain during sexual intercourse you might also want to consider a vaginal moisturiser. As with the rest of your skin the delicate tissues in your vagina will become dry as a result of chemo. These are special moisturisers that are designed specifically for this sensitive area of the body. Using a vaginal moisturiser every few days can help keep your vagina moist and relieve vaginal dryness symptoms.
Relieves and replenishes dry uncomfortable vaginal skin to make intimacy more comfortable.
Vagisil Soothing Oatmeal Cream, Daily Use Intimate Cream To Sooth & Protect Sensitive Intimate Skin.
Other side effects such as nausea and fatigue can also mean your labido takes a hit. Talking to your partner is so important to manage the emotions around this. Explain how you are feeling, tell them what you need in terms of support and let them know what level of affection you are currently comfortable with.
Letting them know you are still attracted to them but just need time to adjust to how your body is feeling can also help manage feelings of rejection.
A lubricant I usually recommend is Olive & Bee (we use this at the Oncology & Women's Health clinic I work at in
If you find yourself needing to talk to someone after reading this article you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or The Cancer Council on 13 11 20
Shop To Help
FU Cancer Network is a passion project, but it comes with costs. Purchasing through the links below won’t cost you extra, but a small commission will help maintain the site and expand offerings. Not all products earn a commission, but if they do it helps me to keep this space alive for those who need it most.These are items I used myself, friends used or come highly recommended via other channels. I spent many hours researching what would help my skin, hair and mental health during treatment, you can benefit from that now and skip the research.
Some of these are thoughtful gifts to give to people you care about who are having treatment and some are to gift to yourself.
You'll probably notice there are some swearies in the titles of some books, because.... F cancer!
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What The F*ck Just Happened. A Survivor's Guide to Life After Breast Cancer Click To Purchase | |
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Chemo P!ssed Me Off. A Breast Cancer Roadmap: Navigating with Faith, Gratitude, and a Little Bit of Attitude Click To Purchase | F*** You Cancer: How to face the big C, live your life and still be yourself Click To Purchase |
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The Cancer Ladies’ Running Club: The most emotional, uplifting and life-affirming novel of summer 2023 | |
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Clinique Even Better Clinical Radical Dark Spot Corrector. I messed up my skin (which you aren't going to do as you will ALWAYS wear sunscreen) and this cleared up the sunspots within a couple of weeks. I highly recommend for reducing blemishes & correcting skin tone and will continue to use it now I'm post chemo. | Eau Thermale Avène Cicalfate+ Restorative Protective Cream Avène Cicalfate+ Restorative Protective Cream helps repair damaged, dry, cracked, and non-oozing skin in 48 hours. Skin is immediately soothed after the first application, and the cutaneous barrier is restored. In fact, all the Avene Products are worth considering when you have delicate skin from chemo. |
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Cancer Council Daywear SPF 50+ Light Tint BB Cream As above you are going to wear sunscreen every single day from now on and this is a great option. I apply this after my moisturiser and know I'm heading out with 50+ protection on my delicate facial skin. If I'd been doing this from the start I wouldn't have needed the Clinique! Check out other cancer council products at the link below. | Hand Weights. Light weights for use when doing at home pilates If you are able to get to the gym maintaining muscle by using hand weights can be a simple way to workout at home. |
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Yoga Mat with Alignment Lines. Anti-Slip. Beautiful yoga mat featuring alignment lines to assist you with the position of arms and legs. This helps with at home pilates or yoga by encouraging you to keep your body in balance with accurate posture for the best practice. | Activity Tracker As exercise can help you with your cancer treatment and recovery now might be a great time to invest in a fitness tracker if you haven't already. The Fitbit (or similar) is a great option which encourages mindfulness plus tracks exercise and sleep. |
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Menopause Supplements If you need help managing hot flushes due to medical menopause some of these supplements may help rebalance your hormones. As with any supplements do not take these without consulting with your oncology team. | |
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Satin Head Scarfs Play around with head scarves to see what styles and colours suit you. This style was great for me when I lost most of my hair. | UGG Slippers I was very lucky and only got a very small amount of neuropathy in my feet but I do feel the cold more now. During chemo I swapped my normal thongs around the house for Uggs to avoid the cold in my toes. It really does make a world of difference.
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Aromatherapy Diffusers A thoughtful gift for a loved one facing cancer is always welcomed. Diffusers offer a safe, convenient, and flame-free way to create a calming atmosphere. Gentle, long-lasting fragrances provide comfort and relaxation, making them a perfect gift for promoting peace and well-being. Click To Purchase | Rose Quartz Gifts Rose quartz is not only a beautiful gift for a loved one fighting cancer but some believe Rose quartz promotes love, healing, and emotional balance while reducing stress and anxiety with its calming energy—perfect for self-care and inner peace. There are a number of styles at the link below Click To Purchase |
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The Ordinary Multi Peptide Serum for Hair Density This hair growth serum is is designed to support hair health so that it looks thicker, denser, fuller and healthier. Be aware that it contains caffeine to stimulate the follicles so keep this for when you have finished chemo as it can actually have the opposite effect you are going for if you use it whilst undergoing treatment. | Miracle Spray Hair Treatment I LOVE this product and was using it before chemo on recommendation from a friend. It is great to leave in after washing when you can't blow dry to help contain fluffiness from dried out chemo hair! |
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TOPPIK Hair Building Fibers Toppik Hair Building Fibers, are made of colored keratin protein and it blends with existing hair strands to instantly create the appearance of naturally thick, full hair. I used this when my bald spot was at it's worse and I didn't want to wear a wig. I was skeptical about this product but it is honestly amazing how it works. | Silk Pillow Cases Protect hair and skin during chemo with silk fabric pillowcases. During chemotherapy, silk pillowcases offer benefits like reduced friction, moisture retention, and a gentle surface for sensitive skin and hair, which can be particularly helpful during hair loss and regrowth.Perfect as a thoughtful gift for a loved one going through treatment Click To Purchase |
Support Resources
Cancer Council Australia
CCA an organisation to support all Australians affected by cancer through support, research and prevention programs.
Ovarian Cancer Australia
OCA is an independent national not-for-profit organisation, supporting women diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Our focus is to provide care and support for those affected by ovarian cancer; and represent them by leading change. Our vision is to save lives and ensure no woman with ovarian cancer walks alone.
Breast Cancer Network Australia
BCNA Breast Cancer Network Australia (BCNA) is Australia’s leading breast cancer consumer organisation. We have worked tirelessly to ensure that all Australians who are affected by breast cancer receive the very best care, treatment and support.
Bowel Cancer Australia
BCA Peer-to-Peer Support Network connects patient’s and loved ones on a one-to-one buddy basis that enables members to give and receive advice about their bowel cancer experience in an informal and mutually beneficial way.
Leukaemia Foundation
LF is a support service for patients and supporters dealing with blood cancers.
*FU Cancer is supported by its audience. If you choose to purchase through the links on our site we may receive an affiliate commission. This goes towards paying our expenses plus a percentage of our monthly profit goes towards directly helping people with cancer. If you know someone who could do with a boost during their cancer treatment please let us know here.
*FU Cancer is supported by its audience. If you choose to purchase through the links on our site we may receive an affiliate commission. This goes towards paying our expenses plus a percentage of our monthly profit goes towards directly helping people with cancer. If you know someone who could do with a boost during their cancer treatment please let us know here.
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