Adjusting To The New Normal
- Mimi Fong
- Nov 16, 2022
- 9 min read
Updated: Apr 1
Guest post by Mimi Fong.
I will never forget the moment when I was told I had cancer. My world changed forever.
As a life coach, I know that change is inevitable. It’s a part of life. A part of growth. A part of being human. I’ve been through massively stressful changes in my life … a harrowing divorce followed by the loss of my employment, a toxic workplace, financial distress, setting up a small business as a new mum. But life coach or not, nothing can prepare you for something like this.
Because a cancer diagnosis is with you for life.
Let me be clear. I am not saying this in the ‘recurrence’ sense or that once you have cancer, you will always have it. Because I don’t personally believe that. What I mean is that whether or not you are ‘NED’, the spectre of cancer will always be with you mentally and emotionally.
Not what you’d expect to hear from a life coach, right?!
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to live my life defined by this beast. But what I’ve found is that sticking my head in the sand is not an option either. Pretending I didn’t have it won’t make it go away. In fact, it can make it worse. What you resist persists. Carl Jung was spot on. Because the more you resist something in life and fight against it, the more you bring it to you.
It’s like a ball floating on top of the water. What happens when you push it down? You might be successful … at first. But eventually you’ll get tired and it will pop straight back up again.
You can’t change the past.
The cancer diagnosis happened. What you can change is how you choose to live after it.
Yes life has irrevocably changed now. This is your new normal. The ‘old’, pre-cancer you is gone. I still mourn that version of me. I could expend my energy in trying to reclaim that and those moments in time where I was more care-free and the thought of cancer happening to me never entered my mind.
But where would that get me? Stuck. Living in the past. Frozen in time. My life on hold.
Because there is one thing that this cancer diagnosis has taught me (like having a big, smelly wet fish slapped in my face!) … that life is precious. It’s a gift.
No one knows what lies ahead. Cancer diagnosis or not. I could walk out my front door tomorrow and get hit by a bus. So what counts is how I choose to live today.
Easier said than done, I know!
But the only other choice is to curl up in a ball and accept defeat. Which I refuse to do.
Because I have so much to live for. And still so much to do. As I know you do.
Make the decision to stop putting your life on hold. Right now. And focus on what lies ahead. What is right in front of you. Yes life is different now. This is your new normal.
What can you do to adjust to it?
Acknowledge and Accept. Stop wasting your energy on fighting it or resisting. It may not be fair but it is what it is.
Focus on what you can control. Which are your thoughts, your emotions and your actions.
Spend time discovering the new ‘you’. Yes this experience has changed you. And it’s up to you to decide if it’s for the better or worse … Use this as an opportunity to reconnect with what’s important to you in life. Start by asking yourself ‘Who am I?’, ‘What Do I Want?’, and ‘How Do I Get There?’
Express gratitude. Look at what you have in front of you, rather than what you don’t have or have lost. And appreciate it. Write down or say out loud ‘I am grateful for …’. Make this a daily habit.
Whilst life has thrown you a flaming curved ball, this doesn’t mean you need to stand there and just take it.
Cancer is a part of your story now. And the good news is that you are still the author of it.
Own it. Be stronger for it.
Will you still have moments of fear, trepidation and frustration?
Yes. It’s par for the course. Flip it around and use those moments to fuel you.
Because I say ‘FU Cancer’. You do not own me. I do.
It’s my life and I take it back.
Mimi Fong is a certified Master NLP Practitioner, Life Coach and Time Line Therapist. If you need help adjusting to your new normal, you can reach out to Mimi directly at www.mimifong.com.au.
If you are a Teal Sister who is NED, make sure you check out The Teal Circle, her private membership support group
If you find yourself needing to talk to someone after reading this article you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or The Cancer Council on 13 11 20
Shop To Help
FU Cancer Network is a passion project, but it comes with costs. Purchasing through the links below won’t cost you extra, but a small commission will help maintain the site and expand offerings. Not all products earn a commission, but if they do it helps me to keep this space alive for those who need it most.These are items I used myself, friends used or come highly recommended via other channels. I spent many hours researching what would help my skin, hair and mental health during treatment, you can benefit from that now and skip the research.
Some of these are thoughtful gifts to give to people you care about who are having treatment and some are to gift to yourself.
You'll probably notice there are some swearies in the titles of some books, because.... F cancer!
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What The F*ck Just Happened. A Survivor's Guide to Life After Breast CancerClick To Purchase | |
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Chemo P!ssed Me Off. A Breast Cancer Roadmap: Navigating with Faith, Gratitude, and a Little Bit of AttitudeClick To Purchase | F*** You Cancer: How to face the big C, live your life and still be yourselfClick To Purchase |
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The Cancer Ladies’ Running Club: The most emotional, uplifting and life-affirming novel of summer 2023 | |
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Clinique Even Better Clinical Radical Dark Spot Corrector. I messed up my skin (which you aren't going to do as you will ALWAYS wear sunscreen) and this cleared up the sunspots within a couple of weeks. I highly recommend for reducing blemishes & correcting skin tone and will continue to use it now I'm post chemo. | Eau Thermale Avène Cicalfate+ Restorative Protective Cream Avène Cicalfate+ Restorative Protective Cream helps repair damaged, dry, cracked, and non-oozing skin in 48 hours. Skin is immediately soothed after the first application, and the cutaneous barrier is restored. In fact, all the Avene Products are worth considering when you have delicate skin from chemo. |
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Cancer Council Daywear SPF 50+ Light Tint BB Cream As above you are going to wear sunscreen every single day from now on and this is a great option. I apply this after my moisturiser and know I'm heading out with 50+ protection on my delicate facial skin. If I'd been doing this from the start I wouldn't have needed the Clinique! Check out other cancer council products at the link below. | Hand Weights. Light weights for use when doing at home pilates If you are able to get to the gym maintaining muscle by using hand weights can be a simple way to workout at home. |
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Yoga Mat with Alignment Lines. Anti-Slip. Beautiful yoga mat featuring alignment lines to assist you with the position of arms and legs. This helps with at home pilates or yoga by encouraging you to keep your body in balance with accurate posture for the best practice. | Activity Tracker As exercise can help you with your cancer treatment and recovery now might be a great time to invest in a fitness tracker if you haven't already. The Fitbit (or similar) is a great option which encourages mindfulness plus tracks exercise and sleep. |
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Menopause Supplements If you need help managing hot flushes due to medical menopause some of these supplements may help rebalance your hormones. As with any supplements do not take these without consulting with your oncology team. | |
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Satin Head Scarfs Play around with head scarves to see what styles and colours suit you. This style was great for me when I lost most of my hair. | UGG Slippers I was very lucky and only got a very small amount of neuropathy in my feet but I do feel the cold more now. During chemo I swapped my normal thongs around the house for Uggs to avoid the cold in my toes. It really does make a world of difference.
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Aromatherapy Diffusers A thoughtful gift for a loved one facing cancer is always welcomed. Diffusers offer a safe, convenient, and flame-free way to create a calming atmosphere. Gentle, long-lasting fragrances provide comfort and relaxation, making them a perfect gift for promoting peace and well-being. Click To Purchase | Rose Quartz Gifts Rose quartz is not only a beautiful gift for a loved one fighting cancer but some believe Rose quartz promotes love, healing, and emotional balance while reducing stress and anxiety with its calming energy—perfect for self-care and inner peace. There are a number of styles at the link below Click To Purchase |
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The Ordinary Multi Peptide Serum for Hair Density This hair growth serum is is designed to support hair health so that it looks thicker, denser, fuller and healthier. Be aware that it contains caffeine to stimulate the follicles so keep this for when you have finished chemo as it can actually have the opposite effect you are going for if you use it whilst undergoing treatment. | Miracle Spray Hair Treatment I LOVE this product and was using it before chemo on recommendation from a friend. It is great to leave in after washing when you can't blow dry to help contain fluffiness from dried out chemo hair! |
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TOPPIK Hair Building Fibers Toppik Hair Building Fibers, are made of colored keratin protein and it blends with existing hair strands to instantly create the appearance of naturally thick, full hair. I used this when my bald spot was at it's worse and I didn't want to wear a wig. I was skeptical about this product but it is honestly amazing how it works. | Silk Pillow Cases Protect hair and skin during chemo with silk fabric pillowcases. During chemotherapy, silk pillowcases offer benefits like reduced friction, moisture retention, and a gentle surface for sensitive skin and hair, which can be particularly helpful during hair loss and regrowth.Perfect as a thoughtful gift for a loved one going through treatment Click To Purchase |
Support Resources
Cancer Council Australia
CCA an organisation to support all Australians affected by cancer through support, research and prevention programs.
Ovarian Cancer Australia
OCA is an independent national not-for-profit organisation, supporting women diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Our focus is to provide care and support for those affected by ovarian cancer; and represent them by leading change. Our vision is to save lives and ensure no woman with ovarian cancer walks alone.
Breast Cancer Network Australia
BCNA Breast Cancer Network Australia (BCNA) is Australia’s leading breast cancer consumer organisation. We have worked tirelessly to ensure that all Australians who are affected by breast cancer receive the very best care, treatment and support.
Bowel Cancer Australia
BCA Peer-to-Peer Support Network connects patient’s and loved ones on a one-to-one buddy basis that enables members to give and receive advice about their bowel cancer experience in an informal and mutually beneficial way.
Leukaemia Foundation
LF is a support service for patients and supporters dealing with blood cancers.
*FU Cancer is supported by its audience. If you choose to purchase through the links on our site we may receive an affiliate commission. This goes towards paying our expenses plus a percentage of our monthly profit goes towards directly helping people with cancer. If you know someone who could do with a boost during their cancer treatment please let us know here.
*FU Cancer is supported by its audience. If you choose to purchase through the links on our site we may receive an affiliate commission. This goes towards paying our expenses plus a percentage of our monthly profit goes towards directly helping people with cancer. If you know someone who could do with a boost during their cancer treatment please let us know here.
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